http://statusden.com Cool quotes for your status updates Fri, 06 Feb 2009 23:40:53 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 http://statusden.com/funny-facebook-status/real-facebook-status-updates/ http://statusden.com/funny-facebook-status/real-facebook-status-updates/#comments Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:07:28 +0000 admin http://statusden.com/?p=53 Here’s a list of actual funny Facebook status updates written by the Facebook community…

• is looking for an original status update at StatusDen.com
• is proof reading to make sure he hasn’t left any words out.
• is with your mom.
• is exactly the kind of person who would be gay and repress it even to himself
• is thinking this night, if a bit strange, is going extremely fucking well!
• is disovering the magical combination of beauty and low self-esteem.
• thinks this crack is really moreish.
• is out tonight, because the Beastie Boys fought, and possibly died, for my right to party.
• is james bond.
• is a beared concubine.
• is going to make you a real life indecent proposal.
• must stop using Facebook as the primary communication method with his girlfriend, family and friends.
• must only pay for sex if the price seems really, really reasonable
• is looking for something to find .
• is in quarantine.
• is made of mostly foreign material.
• is grrrrrreat! Tony the Tiger is jealous.
• is havingtrou blewithhis spacebar.
• is making babies.
• is taking a gap year and focusing on the bible.
• is coming to a theater near you.
• is with your girlfriend.

• wants an Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
• is trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
• puts the pro in procrastinate
• is thinking of a number between 1 and 10.
• is loving the smell of napalm in the morning
• is a vegetarian, not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!
• wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
• is filmed before a live stuido audience
• having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
• is busy with Jedi business, go back to your drinks.
• says size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
• is made mostly of water.
• has got a friend, I’ve made a friend, maybe there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m just a normal human being?
• is shaking a tailfeather
• doesnt look a thing like Jesus.
• the guy who put the laughter in manslaughter
• is so unhappy, blah blah blah, he’s just taken a load of pills, blah blah blah.
• is milking those blindys dry
• is a pool pooer
• is pissed and stoned in a 4×4
• killed mummy
• has discovered that you do need firelighters to burn a dead dog
• pondering a move into the 3rd dimension
• has had a dud evening. Low quality take-away. Low quality detective drama. Low quality sexual intercourse.
• is being dragged into the 21st century, with its meaningless logos and ironic veneration of tyrants.
• is having a mushroom sex party all over your flat while your chomping on a bratwurst and dancing to the oompah band
• is hot like pol pot!
• is drinking rum and coke…. and vodka.. and gin… all mixed together. It’s not even a proper drink, I just… made it up.
• has got ‘trouble’ written all through her/him like a stick of Brighton Rock.
• is back in Lincoln, getting his tummy rubbed by lovely mummy.
• trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!
• not the droid you’re looking for.
• not your friend.
• finding your lack of faith disturbing
• sensing something; a presence he hasn’t felt since…
• better than you.
• not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you
• gonna kick your rear end from here to Tienanmen Square.
• made of meat. Your whole family is made of meat
• a lumberjack and he’s okay. He drinks all night and works all day
• the second coming

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