Here’s a list of actual funny Facebook status updates written by the Facebook community…
- is looking for an original status update at StatusDen.com
- is proof reading to make sure he hasn’t left any words out.
- is with your mom.
- is exactly the kind of person who would be gay and repress it even to himself
- is thinking this night, if a bit strange, is going extremely fucking well!
- is disovering the magical combination of beauty and low self-esteem.
- thinks this crack is really moreish.
- is out tonight, because the Beastie Boys fought, and possibly died, for my right to party.
- is james bond.
- is a beared concubine.
- is going to make you a real life indecent proposal.
- must stop using Facebook as the primary communication method with his girlfriend, family and friends.
- must only pay for sex if the price seems really, really reasonable
- is looking for something to find .
- is in quarantine.
- is made of mostly foreign material.
- is grrrrrreat! Tony the Tiger is jealous.
- is havingtrou blewithhis spacebar.
- is making babies.
- is taking a gap year and focusing on the bible.
- is coming to a theater near you.
- is with your girlfriend.
- wants an Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
- is trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
- puts the pro in procrastinate
- is thinking of a number between 1 and 10.
- is loving the smell of napalm in the morning
- is a vegetarian, not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!
- wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
- is filmed before a live stuido audience
- having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
- is busy with Jedi business, go back to your drinks.
- says size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
- is made mostly of water.
- has got a friend, I’ve made a friend, maybe there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m just a normal human being?
- is shaking a tailfeather
- doesnt look a thing like Jesus.
- the guy who put the laughter in manslaughter
- is so unhappy, blah blah blah, he’s just taken a load of pills, blah blah blah.
- is milking those blindys dry
- is a pool pooer
- is pissed and stoned in a 4×4
- killed mummy
- has discovered that you do need firelighters to burn a dead dog
- pondering a move into the 3rd dimension
- has had a dud evening. Low quality take-away. Low quality detective drama. Low quality sexual intercourse.
- is being dragged into the 21st century, with its meaningless logos and ironic veneration of tyrants.
- is having a mushroom sex party all over your flat while your chomping on a bratwurst and dancing to the oompah band
- is hot like pol pot!
- is drinking rum and coke…. and vodka.. and gin… all mixed together. It’s not even a proper drink, I just… made it up.
- has got ‘trouble’ written all through her/him like a stick of Brighton Rock.
- is back in Lincoln, getting his tummy rubbed by lovely mummy.
- trapped in the facebook status message textbox; send help!
- not the droid you’re looking for.
- not your friend.
- finding your lack of faith disturbing
- sensing something; a presence he hasn’t felt since…
- better than you.
- not for everyone. Clinical tests show that he may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if he is right for you
- gonna kick your rear end from here to Tienanmen Square.
- made of meat. Your whole family is made of meat
- a lumberjack and he’s okay. He drinks all night and works all day
- the second coming
